Tinisha's Childhood Experiences

As a child I was raised in a home that included my mother, father, and older sister. Although my parents appeared to have a martial relationship built upon support, communication, and love for my sister and I, their styles of parenting were extremely different. My father’s parenting style was characteristic of Baumrind’s “authoritative parenting” whereas my mother’s parenting style was characteristic of “authoritarian parenting”. My father set rules and regulations for me and my sister, while maintain open communication, and expressing his forgiveness at times when we may have disobeyed him. My mother’s unspoken motto was “what I say goes with no exceptions”, therefore my sister and I was not allowed to question my mothers rule, regulations, or forms of punishment. There was never communication with my mother regarding me and my sister’s feelings and we hardly ever heard my mother utter the words “I Love You” to me or my sister. Whenever I would disobey my mother or behave in a manner that was unacceptable to her standards I was harshly punished. My mother would become verbally abusive, calling me derogatory names such “stupid” and “dumb”, while also becoming physically abusive. I was hit open-handed and closed-fist, beat with belts while wearing little or no clothes, and grabbed my arms and hair. Often this form of punishment would occur when my father was at work as my father would strictly forbid my mother from punishing me in that manner. Although my father was not in agreement in my mother’s style of punishment, he was unable to avoid her using that form of punishment due to the fact that this type of behavior often took placed in my father’s absence. This type of punishment occurred between the ages of 7 and 15 years old (if my memory serves me correctly). During these years I tended to you my friends, extracurricular activities, and grandparents as forms of emotional support. My friends were individuals that I could confide in and seek emotional support. Extracurricular activities were used as an outlet to escape the uncomfortable and uneasy feeling that resulted from my mother’s return home from work as I never knew her emotional state which directly effected her communication and interaction with me and my sister. My grandparents were the most beneficial form of emotional support due to the fact that they provided me a sense of love, emotional support, stability, and sense of nurturing which were all aspects that I was lacking in my home and longing for in my mother. In researching stressors that impact the development of children in other countries, I chose to further research the types of stressors that impact the development of children in India. The main stressor that impacts the development of children is the effects of poverty in India. Women in India are traditionally housewives, expected to take care of their children, husband, and household chores. These women typically depend on the income of their husbands as they do not posses enough education or skills to earn their own income and contribute to the overall income of the household. A major problem arise when the husbands of these women become absent from the home due to dissertation or separation. In these types of circumstances the household income takes a drastic decrease while leaving the women with the responsibilities of taking care of the children and household. As a result women typically have to obtain employment outside of the home and leaving their children home to take care of themselves. Seeking caretakers for their children is impossible as these women are at a financial disadvantage and cannot afford the cost of caretaker’s services. These women are often left feeling anxiety about the future of their children. To minimize the harm of poverty on the development of children several policy recommendations have been made which include:

1.      Forming self help groups for single mothers

2.      Adequate publicity and initiation of innovative strategies to reach out to needy families in an effort to enlarge the scope of existing welfare services.

3.      Forming programs for the provisions of childcare and other support systems for the mother headed families.

4.      Providing foster care, child sponsorship, nutrition, and day care programs.

5.      Creating flexible workplace provisions and work schedules for mothers.